A series of epiphanys from the everyday life of *description of me*

Our internet has been screwing up a lot lately so I havent been able to get on; And that AGITATES ME!!

So I'm back and I cant say for how long or anything...Probly just until the spontanious whims of my existance shun livejournal out of my list of prioritys again. So until then...enjoy!

My life has been hectic as usual. But I guess if its usual, Its not really hectic is it? Hmmm... I mean, If its always hectic, hectic becomes normal right?

Anyway, thats beside the point...

Lets see what have I done since I was last on here...

I went to district again, that was cool as always. I auditioned for state and missed that by .1 points. Wait, maybe you didnt see it. POINT ONE POINTS. I know you envey me right? But I've pretty much gotten over that one now.

I made governers school. Thats pretty much the highlight of my life now. Governers school. I got a 1X2 inch section in the Virginian piolet for that. Yaaay. And a much bigger article in the Perquimans weekly. I was actually in that paper with both Dannie and Patrick. Weird Coinkidink No?

I played piano with the ECSU Jazz band. That was a learning experience. I dont get to play piano with other people much so when an oppurtunity presents itself, I grab it. Well, there was this screaming trumpet player there. He's in the military or something. I was playing piano by myself one day before rehersal and he walked up behind me and listened. I look back on this and laugh. I started messing up bad. This dude was just awesome. Professional quality musician. I mean, he played with Dizzy. He gets casual calls from Jamey Abersaw. Oh yea, he knew Dave Adams too. And Tyler (10 year old wonder kid) and all them. Weird how small the world seems sometims.

Well, anyway, he said "You got chops kid" and we talked a while about music and stuff and he ended up giving me this medal. It was a little bit of a suprise. It was kinda like "Hey, How ya doin'? Want a medal? Here Ya go!" But I guess It proves that he wasnt just being nice for the sake of being nice.

I've got a few other gigs lined up. I'm supposedly playing bass in Caleb and Alison Rose's band. They arent nessecarily playing my kind of music, but hey, its music ya know? I'll play anything really, and a Freind in need of a bass player is a freind indeed.

I also get to play with the percussion ensemble when they play Frankenstiein or however you spell that name. Thats really cool and I get out of Latin. That is something to rejoice about indeed.

I'm playing Star Spangled banner at the Little Lueage Opening Ceremonys tomorrow. I dont necessarily plan on playing it note for note if you know what I mean, and I hope everyone there isnt too offended, but hey, if so, screw em. For those 45 seconds, its my song. Thats the way I see it.

Martin Parker has asked me to play a trumpet solo on a tune some lady is singing. Its in Concert A which Is B for Trumpet. Not the most comfortable key to play in... I guess this is a good opportunity to learn to play in B!

All these people asking be to play places makes me feel like I'm moving up in the world. It feels good, ya know?

Marching band is starting up again and I cant frekin wait! I love marching band, man. Its frekin sweet. Like Ninjas. I'm hornline captain and that'll take some getting used to... but I've been looking foward to that also. I hope I develope good leadership skills. Having spent a good deal of my life questioning authority and its purposes, It will be interesting to be the authority figure, even if it is just hornline captain.

I will wear a red cape with blue letters that read "Magnificanto" and demand that they all address me as 'conquistador'! Mwahahaha.

Well thats my life in the current state.
If you cant deal with it I'll put a curse on you so that all your kids are born completely naked. So there. And may you tremble in fear.

Problems.

Problems.

Just say it: 'Problems'.

We all have them. Problems.

Problems suck.

Dont they.

Emotional problems. Physical problems. Musical problems. Hormone problems. Business problems. Money Problems. Cost of living problems. Problems with the economy. Drug Problems. School problems. Relationship problems. Computer problems. Foreign Problems.

enigma

Well.

Well Well Well.

Well. Whatever.

I live in my head and my head has no room for my life. It hurts. A flurry of thought and defiance combed and analyzed for some common ground and pattern in life and music. Creativity bound by expectation. Emotion withheld with remorse and defense. Physical activity used to blunt mental defiance. Anger and annoyance tested to their limits consistently. Control an abstract concept too huge to grasp completely with my mind. Priority distorted by confusion of order. Order defied by a change in priority. An observer. An artist through evaluation of redudence of mental activity.

Guilt. Joy. Anger. Confusion.

Well, tommorows the last marching competition. Today was the last time we ever played 'Power of Performance' on the practice feild. It's depressing it is. I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm a senior. Probly walk around for a few days in a daze. That'll suck. But this year sucks a lot too. Last year I just took it in stride. It wasnt that bad last year. They always told us, 08, the freshman that we wouldnt get it and I was like, 'Nah, I get it'. But I didnt. I dont think any freshman get it. Thats why so many of them want to quit.And a loit of other people too. Everyone just says: 'Well, if they dont want to be there, we dont need them'. I dissagree. If you dont like what you do, explore the full potential of what marching band offers. Switch to trumpet! I'm just kidding, but yea, if you dont like marching the instrument you play, switch to something else. The people I've talked to that switched say its much more fun playing something different. And each year is different. Playing one show on a certain intrument might be boring compared to a different show on the same instrument. If I didnt like trumpet so much, or if the trumpet section didnt really need me, I'd probly play a different instrument every year. I've always wanted to play snare. I've always wanted to play mellophone and baritone. And sax. Problem is, I'm not going to do something and not be good at it.

Anyway, I get it more this year more than last. I understand more the emotions that go with the program and the frendships developed. Last year I was kind of heartless. My whole personallity was based around the fact that I wasnt affected by emotions. Marching band and my first 'intimate' relationship has opened my eyes a little to the options there. Dont get me wrong, I'm not consumed by it. I dont dwell on my feelings. I'm only as happy as I want to be. I'm usually happy. Happy or pissed. Yea, I'm seldom sad or depressed. Mainly because I dont want to be sad or depressed. I'm pissed because of how other people act. I've become less passive agressive. My little brother has become, if possible, more annoying, and I have a few morals now. When people insult the few morals I have, which are the basic ones that should be upheald by everyone, I get pretty frekin pissed. And when people interupt me when I'm doing something I obviously like to, or need to do. Or when they blow off something that I've commited my life to as something that doesnt matter. I dont do that! I dont do that to them!! Why do they do it to me!? I've started doing it to them back. Treat their away games like they treat our competitions. Screw em.


Aaron

If you are the enemy of my enemy,

And The enemy of his enemies,

and If his enemies are my enemies

Who are you to me?


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The Bible speaks of the coming of the APOCALYPSE.

They know not the day nor the time. However, Back then, everyone followed the Bible. Everyone was Holy.

But now, Children are having Children, Murder is popular. Everything is being prophecized as it is said in the scriptures.

So I ask, are we living the apocalypse yet we are too blind to see it?

And when we talked of the apocalypse, did the King of angels mean Internal suffering? Is the apocalypse a fight within ourselves?



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Tell me, how much blood are you willing to spill to save the life of creatures like us?

Would you be willing to bleed for me?

Would you be willing to ask me to bleed for you?

------------------------------------------------------------

Knowledge is power.

Power leads to fear.

Fear leads to anger, Anger that is dear.

What if in the world, there existed no anger? what if pain and sorrow were just not there?

how would the world be? Then again, how would you be?

Do you think you know me?

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Goodnight dreamers of the lost soul

It's unusual how people Hide from others.

They talk of some sort of mask. What kind of mask?

I do not understand. If you are trying to hide your "emotions" through your facial expressions, Why not become a faceless creature like the rest of the human race? Hiding away just because your views do not agree with others.

Unlike you people, I am tired of hiding. I care not what a faceless creature says for a faceless creature has no good views if it does not have a face. If you do not show your true face, You are not real, therefor, you are obsolete.

Am I right?

I am insane................

Or maybe I just have ADD.........hmmm....

My life............is a series of dogs

No it isn't.

I knew the ""~~~¿Meaning?~~~"" of life at one point, but they changed it again

What do I want?

I don't know

Do you?

Ultimately I wish to be content. I wish life consisted of only thought.

That would be an ideal state of being.

Ultimately my life has only as much meaning as I wish it to have.

Some of my friends could do with a good understanding of that statement.

Somehow, school just isn't as important anymore.

I used to be just like all of these.........students........these people.........I used to be in the same state of MIND as them.........

Always anticipating the next assignment, anticipating my grade. Wanting to succeed in school.

But over the past three of four years. I've changed so much.

It makes me wonder........What are my goals?

I'm no longer M E . I am.......what I "w . . a . . n . . t . . e . . d" to be.......

I always W A N T E D , in my ignorance, to be a




loner


the weirdo, but not the un cool weirdo, but the guy who is eccentric in an artistic way
I wanted to be the guy who doesn't put up with people who have no idea what they're talking about.

I am that

I wanted to be s.o.m.e. ± thing that I wasn't, but I am...........

But if I could change it, would I?

What would you change?

°Would you indeed choose to change anything at all?

To «invision» a §ole purpose to it's highest extent, ♣

Is to see your own life through the eyes (*) of another.

To be someone new, must you not be yourself first?

And before you walk in another's shoes, must you not remove your own first?



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Which came first?

The beginning or the end? tHiNk.....

In oerdr to make the formula for Creation, the formula for destruction is needed is it not?

And is it true that destruction is required to breed creation is it not?

If so, What happens if Destruction is missing ?



What happens if Creation leads alone?

Well, I havent beem doing much lately besides wrinting an arrangement for 'Tank!', and writing a bunch of essays. One of them I was really sarisfied with:

Narrow-Minded Thinking

Essay: Identify and discuss one significant problem or issue in contemporary culture that concerns you; some of the dimensions of this issue, why it matters to you, and what possible solutions you or others might propose to deal with it.

A significant problem, although not a often debated one, is narrow-minded thinking; which in my opinion is the most significant problem. My personal definition of intelligence has always been: The ability to accept the possibility that you may be wrong. The opposite of which is ignorance, or narrow-minded thinking. It has been said that ignorance is 'bliss', and in many situations it is, but with most, that statement in itself is ignorant. Ignorance will be the downfall of society. Without open-minded people in the world, society would not progress and humanity would be stalled in a perpetually endless cycle of war.

An example of narrow-minded thinking are political parties. Or at least the people in them that are willing to go to any lengths to make sure someone else's beliefs are not forced on themselves. These are the same people that try to force their way of thinking on everyone else. The reason George Washington was such a good president was because he was not political. He was against political parties. He was open-minded. The problem is that there aren't people like that anymore. And If there are, they aren't going to be president any time soon because of all the narrow-minded Republicans and Democrats out there trying to force their personal beliefs on everyone. Don't get me wrong, not all Politicians are like this, but nearly all the ones that have influence are, and those are the most important politicians. What we need is someone who is willing to put his/her personal beliefs aside and create solutions based on the needs of the people, or the majority of the people at least.

This matters because I see this way of thinking in my everyday life. I meet people like this every day. And I think they would lead much more successful lives and help in the overall goal of humanity: happiness. All actions taken by man in life are in the pursuit of happiness. And the fact that a lot of our race has a very narrow-minded perspective on what happiness is, makes that goal a lot harder to reach. Things like material possessions, and substitutes for happiness such as a buzz, strip us all of the need to feel responsible.

A lot of the reasons for narrow-minded thinking come from what we teach our kids. A lot of the things we teach our kids, I think, are irrelevant to success and happiness in life. Like reading. We need to teach our kids to read, but we have to continue the process. We need to teach them to understand what they read, question it, and make their own opinion based on what they read. There's no use in dragging your eyes across text. And also, parents need to keep their opinions optional to their children. The reason I get along with basically everyone and try to have an open mind towards all others beliefs is because my parents didn't force their political party on me, they didn't tell me what to think. They encouraged creativity.

Well, 3rd competition was yesterday. It was possibly the best time I've ever played the show. And I got to see some of the bigger bands from front and center on the 50 yard line. A lot of those bands do some hip stuff. But I watched my moms homemade recording of our show, and I realized that we do have a lot of energy compared to some of the bands out there. Dont get me wrong, they did some great things in their shows, but we seem to have more of the 'it' factor.

We're far from completely understanding 'it', but it seems like perquimans has an at least somewhat hazy perspective of 'it'. I decided to watch last years show and see if that show portrayed the same kind of emotion. It did. And I remembered something my mom overheard from someone at a competition last year from someone outside our program: 'That Perquimans just makes me cry'

I think the reason we can convey emotion so well has something to do with Whitehurst, who seems to have an endless supply of motivational speeches to hand out. Whether at will, or because of something the band has done to dissapoint him. Because an angry or dissapointed speech is just as effective in my opinion.

Well, I realized today how dependent my life is on music. This is the first competition I didnt ask to get my horn out of the truck. And today it feels like somethings missing. Its weird. And its like evey path I take leads to music. Litterally. If I try to do something, like read a book, I'll get board and walk towards my room, or the music room and look for my case. Then I realize its not there and I go play piano for a few hours. Then the peocess repeats itself exept with a different poitless activity at the begginning.

It seems like a hobby has evolved into the thing that rules my life. I dont really mind that much, but lots of the things I used to do I just dont do anymore. Like watch TV. If I do watch TV, its while I'm doing homework (which also is a poor substitute for music). Or I'll watch TV and press mute during the commercials to play trumpet or keyboard. Also, I'm not nearly as physically active(besides marching band) as before.

Have you ever seen one of those movies, or read one of those books, where at the end, the protagonist has accomplished all there is too acomplish, and the movie seems to have a dull sense of confusion as to what he/she should do? Lord of the rings is a good example: 'How do you pick up the threads of an old life?'. Well, I seem to have that feeling all the time exept with music. Because music is limitless. There are no boundries, or guidelines. You cant accomplish everything in music, its impossible. And I think thats the part about it I like.

Life goes on........

Well, I've been busy. I forget things with ease, so I write them on my arm. My arm is full. No more room for information.

Tommorow morning is the Grammy Audition. I had better make it because It waould suck to have missed all those rehersals for nothing. I wouldnt care that much if I didnt make it, But I have been putting a lot of effort into it and it would be nice to see it pay off with a little recognition you know....

I got to beat the crap out of a car with a sledgehammer today. That was probly the best part of homecoming. But I think I pulled something in my arm cause it hurts to type a little.

The last compitition was the Penut festivle. I listened to Whitehurst talk about walking off the feild knowiong you could do better and how crappy it feels, well..... Yup, it sucks. I dont know why I did so crappy, but it did suck.

And I was flipping my trumpet again and the tuning slide slid out until it was hanging on by just a little bit, and I was flat. Really flat. I dont mean like the same note flat. I could almost hear the minor third harmony between me and the other trumpets flat. That is flat. Very flat.

All these things seem to happen when I spin the trumpet. Maybe I should stop spinning the trumpet.......hmmmm.....

The pressure was on for me also because I knew Ziemba was judging. I recognized him from the feild. I just hoped to impress him cause he's the one who started me out. Without him, I'd be nowhere near as good as I am now. He gave me free private lessons in 6th grade, you know, stuff like that.

Theres lots of other stuff to say. But my hand hurts.

Aaron

Well, yesterday was the first compitition. It made me think a lot. Which is not a scarce occurance. We placed 1st in General Effect, tied 1st in marching and manuvering, and got second for music. Percussion, gaurd, and DM we placed good in too but they dont affect the overall score and thats what I want to talk about.

The whole band was standing on the track during the awards. We were doing awesome in all the catagories and there was some.....unorthadox? (PQ you know?) celebration going on. And then we placed second overall in 3a class. Then a kind of wave hit us and the realization hit. It was kinda creepy. It sent a shiver up my spine. We had failed to hold onto our title: Band of the Day. By a half a point we had given the title to Currituck.

There was no denying the tension between the two bands before our preformances. And while Currituck was marching off the feild to let us on. I know, I was there. But the truth was, I kind of enjoyed it. It made me do better during the show. I rolled my toes a littel higher because of Currituck. You could say that we lost to them. But I dont really think of it that way. They won. We did what we could. And the judjes judje on the execution of certain moves and articulations and intonation, not the quality of the entertainment. It says it right there in the program. 'The judjes ignore the crowds reaction' And that really sucks cause thats what our show is about!

I'm not putting Curritick down or anything, I think they won fair and square. And I wish I could have seen their performance. I dont think I ever got to see their whoile show last year either. Just parts of it.

I dont really care about the numbers. The numbers have defeated me too many times for me to care this time. All-district in 7th grade, All-state last year, 2000 election, various tryouts, stuff like that.

Anyway, I gave at least 100% during the performance. I messed up a total of 2 times. Once was just that I was out of step for a few counts. But I was consiouse of those few and I fixed it. The other was the last note in the solo in Baroque Samba before the park and blow. I didnt like that. I was so....... theres not a feeling to descripbe it. I was kinda dissapointed but thats not really it. More determined to get it next time. Determined enough to ask Whitehurst If I could get my horn out of the truck so I could go home and play range exercises. It took all I had not to ask to hear the judjes tapes. That would have been annoying and I know they only say 'good solo!' no matter what kind of crap you play. I've asked people at all-district.

Another suckie thing about this performance was how I frekin busted my lip open. I was twirling my trumpet to go up to the small ensemble during TO and the bell smacked me right on the bottom lip. There was blood all in my mouth. It sucked for lack of a better word. I just kept playing. Nothing I could do about it besides spit it out on the way to my next dot.

But everyone seeemed so dissapointed when we placed second. I wasnt that dissapointed. I was ready to do It againg and give three times as much. I had turned the dissapointment into detemination. I think that if every member felt the way I did leaving the feild, were going to have some good rehersals this week.

Aaron

The heart and soul of every performer is fueled by the desire to take the emotion out of the crowd and replace it with the fury in the best performance of their life.

Practice means to perform over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired. ~Martha Graham

In the aftermath of hurricane katrina, I realized something about americans and myself.

You know, americans are a warlike people. Thats all that americans understand, war. People only watch the news for the bad news, the Accidents, disasters, explosians, and fires. I know thats why I watch the news, It dont bother me. I dont give a crap about the budget, I dont care about tax negotiations, and please dont tell me what country the pope is in! Just give me some sirens, flames, smoke bodies, graves being filled, My Kind Of T.V.! Just show me a burning hospital with people on crutches jumping off the roof, I'll be happy. I wanna see a paint factory blowin' up. Or an oil refinery explosian. Or a guy runnin' around Kmart shooting people with an M-16. I want to see thousands of peoplw in the street killing police officers. Rebellian. Entropy. I like that stuff. It shows me that the system is breaking down. Or beggining to anyway. Entropy says that in nature all systems are breaking down. And its not just true in nature, its true in society. If you look closely enough, you can see that society is just beggining to come apart at the seams. The news shows it. The horrible water shows it.

But at least I admit it. Most people see that kind of shit and say 'Ohhh, isnt that awful?' Bullshit! Lyin' asshole! You love it and you know it! Explosians are fun! And the closer the more entertaining. I've noticed that. People hear about an accident in Pakistan that killed 6 thousand people, they say 'Aww, thats so sad', but if its in their hometown, they say 'Holy crap, Dave, Lets go look at the bodies!'.

When the United states is not invading some foreign nation- or setting it on fire from the air, which is more fun for our simple minded pilots- were usually busy 'declaring war' on something here in america. Anything we dont like about ourselves, we declare war on it. We dont actually do anything about it, we just 'declare war' on it. Its funny that 'declaring war' is the only metaphor for fixing something in this country. War on crime, War on poverty, War on hate, War on litter, War on cancer, a War on violence, and a war on drugs.

you notice theres no war on homelessness?Its because theres no money in that. If someone could end homelessness and in the process let the corperate swine steal a few billions, youd see the streets of america clear up pretty friggn quickly.

Another thing, people dont want anything near them, even if its something useful like a prison. They say 'BUILD MORE PRISONS, but dont build them here'. That is friggn stupid. Seems to me that it would make for a fairly crime-free area, right? There arent going to be a bunch of crackheads, theives and hookers hagin' around a prison are there? Bullshit, they aint going anywhere near it! And all the criminals are locked up inside! even if one did manage to get out, whaddya think es' gonna do? Stick around? Check the real estate? Bullshit, hes freakin gone! Thats the whole idea right, gettin' as far as possible from there!

Theres a thing in america called NIMBY 'not in my backyard'. They dont want low cost housing in their neighborhood, no prisons. 'Not in my backyard'

Have you ever been torn?

Torn between something you want and something you want?

Have you ever had to make a decision between your true love and you first love?

I'm torn. I knew what I had to do, and I didn't do It for months. I put it off. I did it and now I feel reborn and wounded at the same time. I feel like I did what was best for me. And that's who I have to look after. me right? If I want to chase my dreams, I have to put everything else aside. To put it negatively, I cant have any hindrances. And to put it positively, I have to sacrifice things.

It started in about 8th grade. I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I just kind of meandered along day by day, watching the world from an outsiders perspective. But I began to realize what I really wanted to do in life. I fell in love. I fell in love with music.

Then in 9th grade, I fell in love with another. My goals were pushed aside. I succumbed to the lust that envelopes every single person I know. I wrapped myself in the glory of physical beauty. But another epiphany hit me during the beginning of that summer. I progressed more musically last summer than any other, because I sacrificed. I was always in a musical mentality. I ate music. I breathed music. I walked in time to elevator music.

I wouldn't have to sacrifice if I were older. But in these early years of my musical career, nothing can distract me. I can only hope that when my need of musical progression has slowed, I can pick up the threads that I let fall yesterday.

Aaron

Where?
.

..

standing there, and then ...
my head explodes.
and I TURN AROUND.
i look and contemplate.
then make a neutrotic decision.
I will rip myself apart and I will run.
but I'll stay H-E-R-E everyday.
You can't live split
apart in 1±1
So I scream and hear myself.
Then I conplate a fade from this place
and i want to
fall
fall
fall
fall
FALL
and where...... ?where am I now¿



It just came to me in the middle of the night so I figures I should write it down.

Aaron

Took a shower. I thought for a change. I thought about the expression "Money is the root of all evil". I dissagree. The desire for mony is the root of all evil. Actually, desire period is the primary root of all evil. The desire for money is just I minor branch of evilness. A big one though is the desire to classify. Humans have an unsupressed desire to classify.

I'll give you an example of 'the desire to classify': Race. If we didnt classify people by color, the world would be a better place right? Another: Age. The dispute on age is everlasting, theres no way to avoid it. Maturity is not something your born with.

Merely puting boarders between your land and other peoples land is classifying.

Steriotypes are classification.

All the seven sins are forms of desire.

But at the same time, I think that we need a little evil in our lives. Without it, there would be no contrast between good and evil, thered just be a bunch of good. The contrast between good and evil is classification. See, we cant aviod it, its part of life, evil. without evil, there would be no good, no contrast. If all things evil were to dissapear right now, what now is good would become evil after a short period of bliss in the history of the world.

I use the term 'evil' because it is something that everyone can relate to. People think of evil and they picture all the things they dont like. So what people take as evil, might not be evil, just things they dont like. They are decieving themselves. They divide all things into two groups: good and evil. But everything has its pros and cons. So is 'pros' a synonym for good and 'cons' one for evil? If it isnt, then that makes more than two groups.

And another thing are bad and evil the same thing? The 'bad men' your parents tell you about when ur a kid, they might not me evil. Yes, petafiles and crap like that, but when people that are arrested for disurbing the peace, or whatever happens in teh stock market. The Law is never been defined as 'good', just what is necessary to uphold society.

Another example of classification, optimist, pessimist. Dont you think there are more than two ways to look at a glass with some water in it?

1. Optimist: "The glass is half full"

2. Pessimist: "The glass is half empty"

3. The Apathetic veiw: "I dont care."

4. I dont know the name of this one: "Is the glass really there?"

5. This is my opinion of the glass and water: "The glass is too big."

there might be more. all I know is that There are more than two.

This is just some typing.



I have completely too much time on my hands

well, I've been screwing around with the background majiggers. I got boerd and just chose one at random though.

I just watched the DCI thing. It was pretty frekin awesome. I'm thinking about tryin out for one. Dont know which, Whichever one is the awesomeest. I was watching those people perform and talk about their experiences and it really got me thinking about why I do what I do. WHy I play music and what I get out of it.

When I play music, Its like I'm opening my soul up for the world to hear. Whether they interpret it right or not is up to them, but when I put my fingers on a piano, or a guitar It just gives this this sense of security that nothing else gives. A unique sense of significance. A sense of pride. When I put a trumpet up to my lips, It just feels like its meant to be there. There aren't many things that give you that feeling. When I stand up to improvise a solo, everything goes blank. I don't see the crowd. I don't care what the crowd thinks. When I stand up, I stand into a world where its just me and the rhythm section.

Every kind of music has a purpose. Every genre, every instrumental, every set of lyrics has a message. A message that the musician wants that world to hear. The depth of the message depends upon the person behind it. The kind of purpose depends on what the musician thinks, and what they have gone through in their life. And every person has a way of portraying themselves through their creativity. Some have a great level of ignorance. And the purpose behind that music is to appeal to those with the same level of ignorance.

How did I end up talking about this?

I think I'm going to write a book.

'A series of epiphanys from the everyday life of a *description of me*'

(I thought a lot about that title)

All these people on xanga (www.xanga.com/The_Analyzer) say I should. And there are a lot of things I have to say that people just dont hear bacause I dont talk that much to many people.

Anyway.......

I've got Latin and Biology to do. And Its like 12:30.

Hey, you. yes you, staring at your computer screen......
.
.
.
.
BLINK!!!! HA!! you blinked.

Aaron

Hello. How are you? I am fine. I hope your family is prospering in todays society. If not, Oh well. You'll get over it. In not, Oh well. You'll die. Anyway, how bout that hurriane, huh? That big huge mother down south. I was was watchin the news today and one of those waddya call em, coast gaurd guys. One of em had the nerve to stand up and say, "The South will rise again" on T.V. Is it just me or does that sound strangely ironic? Someone stating that something will rise again while in the background there are the debres of an organization brought down by nature. And how could these people rise again when they cant even take care of themselves? I dont mean those people that had no choice but to sit in their apartment and wait it out. I mean those jackasses that tie themselves to trees and say that "its just a little wind". These people need to learn, and I quote Ron White on this, 'its not the wind, its what the wind is blowing'. If there werent those people in New Orleans who just sit there and pump out a baby every nine months and live on child support, yea I'd probly contribute my poket change to the disaster fund. But not when I know Its just going to go towards saving someone who probly was lowering the gene pool anyway. I also have an opnion on the subject of plundering, or what ever. When citizens take advantage of the loss of power, and the floodin to get things. Now when people who are starving and dieing of thirst, I understand, but some guy wading through waist deep water with a T.V.... thats fucking stupid! Whatr ya gonna do, plug it in? how the hell is that gonna help you? "Well, thousands of people are dieing, my roof was blown of, I need food and water, but I gotta catch my soaps so I'll take a ride on magic mattris co.'s boat to wally world so I can get a T.V. and kill myself trying to plug it in." Another thing, Price gouging! what the fuck is that about?! I think those people are the same kind of people as the soaps guy. The're are people fuckin walkin around New Orleans who are trying to take advantavge of the 'increased demand'. Maybe not in New Orleans but in Houstan or somewhere like that. And they think that the fact that people are getting food from ruined food lions is wrong! wtf! The food is probly going to go bad anyway! And their tryina save money! that moneys just gonna go to some corperate bastard who probly has enough money to support himself anyway! And they act like they have employees who can enforce this idea! You honestly think that wal-marts employees are gonna stick around and say "no, this is property of wal-mart". Bullshit, hes fuckin gone! He probly grabbed a tv on the way out!

Aaron

well, not much new in my life. I recently got a real book. Which is awesome. I also got a 1 1/2c mouthpeice. I thought my range was going to decrease when I got It, but It actually made it way more comfortable playing high notes.

I've got school tomorrow. Got to do biology homework. I can already tell biology is going to be a pain in the ass. But I'll manage. Latin will probly be hard too. Civics I will enjoy though. Whitch is strange because I usually hate social studies or history and stuff. I have band as usual 4th period. They tried to take me out of symphonic band for like digital communications or something and I said NO! The only reason I get through my classes alive is knowing I have band 4th period!

I've got jazz band after school tomorrow. And then a jazz piano lesson after that. I might have to leave jazz band early for It though, which sucks.

I got lots of compliments on my playing today. I guess that pleases me, but not to the point where I'm concieted. Thats one of the thing that I really dont want to be, concieted. So I try not to let those compliments go to my head.

Aaron

Does a rapist leave the house with a hard-on in the morning, or does he develope during the day while he's walkin around?

If you take an oath with your right hand on the bible, and your left hand raised, does the oath count?

If you wake up on the right side of the bed, but live on the wrong side of the tracks, what kind of day do you have?

A crumb is a great thing, if you break a crumb in two, you dont get two half-crumbs, you get two crumbs. Dosent this defy some law of physics?

If you try to fail and suceed, what have you done?-notmine

You know those indians who do rain dances to make it rain? How do they practice? Wouldent it start raining? Then practice would be canceled right? because of the rain? and how does the rain god know its just practice. does he recognize that its practice and hold off for the real thing? what if the dance master has a new move he wants to try? does he yell into the sky that its just practice? Maybe, whenever they want it to rain they just practice. you think so? And when they are practicing and the rain god knows it is practice, how do they know that they got it right? It would have to start raining, right?

Some fun stuff to do If you are ever in need of something to do.
Think about it: we're all here on a big rock zippin around a bad star for no good reason. We dont know where we came from, we dont know where we're goin, we dont know how long its gonna take, and we keep having to use the bathroom. So have a little fun, relax that extra-tight american anal sphincter. Here are a few suggestions:

Walk into a ammunition store, buy a gun and ammunition, then ask if they carry ski masks.

Stand in line at the bank for a really long time, and when you finally get up to the window, ask for change for a nickle. They actually call other tellers over to look at you.

Walk into a bakery and ask if they can bake a cake in the shape of your dick. They're never very sure. They always have to hold a disscussion.:
"Well, I dont know, hold on for just a moment"
While they're talking, pull it out and wave it around.
"Good lord, Helan! Quick! order some more flour!

Go to a gift shop and ask for your gift.

Go into a photography shop and ask the man if you can buy the pictures of the other people in the windows. Say, "how much for that heavy-set couple?" I guarentee they'll stare at you for a long time. They might even back up a few steps.

In a public restroom, stand on the toilet and stare over the top of the partition at the man in the next stall. Tell him your theropist told you its a good way of relaxing. then lean out of the stall with your pants down and ask someone if you can borrow a pair of chopstiks and a 9-volt battery.

Did you ever see those people who ride in their cars with their headlights on in the middle of daytime? because they think its safer? you know what would be fun? To smash head on into a guy like that, just to show him it dosent work.

Yea......*thinks*......*thinks about how you should be thinking*

me

P.S. This LiveJournal is just one of those things that I do occasionally. If you want a more accurate presentation of me got to www.xanga.com/The_Analyzer. Be prepared for....um....lemme see.....Joy, Confusion, Wisdom, Hostility, Mischif, Impudence, Probes, Screeds, Taunts, Insults, Morbid Thoughts, Musings, Spontanity, Profanity, Insanity, Vaugness, Anger, Comfort, Poems, Insecurity, Individuality, Philosophys, Verbosity, Quotes, Apathy, Nonsense, Comedy, Sarcasm, Questions, Wonder, Mockery, Notions, Doubts, Bluntness, Desire, Epiphanys, Lyrics, Assertions, Opinions. That is where the true weirdo shows itself.